tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-42316773098035765142023-11-16T05:52:58.137-08:00Panamazing BlessingsAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04906002894981565767noreply@blogger.comBlogger23125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4231677309803576514.post-34259207516272070062015-02-03T10:43:00.003-08:002015-02-03T10:43:48.317-08:00Just be willing.<div style="font-family: Helvetica, Arial, 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19px; margin-bottom: 6px;">
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<span style="color: #a2c4c9;">I have had something on my heart for a little while, and I felt like I just really needed to share it. So here it goes...</span></div>
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<span style="color: #a2c4c9;">Lots of people have said things, in regards to us moving to Panama, referring to us as "amazing" or "incredible". Even though it is meant as a compliment, it really makes me feel uncomfortable and here is why- </span></div>
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<i><b><span style="color: #a2c4c9;">Because we aren't. </span></b></i></div>
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Growing up, I always felt like pastors and missionaries were these special people that were "super christians," and it always seemed unattainable to me because I was already so full of sin. I felt like I was not perfect, so what use could I be to anyone? How could God ever use me? I was not the poster girl for "good christian." </div>
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When we felt God calling us to Panama, all I could think was "But God, <u>why us</u>? We aren't qualified. We aren't special, and we certainly are not super christians. We are sinners. We yell, we argue, we get mad, we make bad choices. We don't have special degrees on how to be useful to You, how to lead people to You, or how to properly love the orphaned. <i>Why us, God?</i>" </div>
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In all my questioning to God, I clearly felt that He said "<b>Because this is what I created my people to do.</b>" </div>
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You see, you don't have to be special. You don't have to be amazing. You don't have to be wonderful. You just have to be <b>WILLING</b>. You just have to say "God, use me how You want to use me. I am <i>YOURS</i>." </div>
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There is nothing amazing about simply following the commands God has given us. This is what Christianity is. It's just <u>normal</u>. It's nothing special. God tells us to care for the orphan and the widow. He tells us to clothe the naked and feed the hungry. He tells us to seek justice for the oppressed. He tells us to make disciples. He doesn't say "only do this if you are special or amazing." He just says<b> <u>to do it</u> </b>because we are His children and it is why He created us.</div>
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When God called His disciples in the Bible, He didn't tell them to go home first and get more prepared, or that they were not special enough. He didn't tell them to go to work to become more "spiritual" first and THEN they could follow Him and serve. No, <i>He just called them as they were</i>. </div>
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God can use you NOW, just as you are, if you are willing. If God called me, He can call you. I am no one special.<b> I am nothing</b> outside of Him. I was just tired of fighting what God had clearly told me to do, and so I relented and said "Okay God, I will go."</div>
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I am not saying you need to move to a foreign country, because God can use you exactly where you are. I am simply saying,<u> don't fool yourself into thinking that you can't be used</u> because you aren't a "super christian." And don't let yourself believe lies such as "I need to be more spiritual and then God can use me, later." <i>Let God use you as you are, now</i>. He will continue to work on your heart, and He will grow you in Him if you are faithful in pursuing Him, and seeking Him.</div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04906002894981565767noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4231677309803576514.post-72971170391604431272014-10-13T20:01:00.000-07:002014-10-13T21:10:39.900-07:00Fear<div style="text-align: center;">
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<span style="background-color: #444444; line-height: 20px; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: inherit;">"For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind."</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #444444; line-height: 20px; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: inherit;">2 Timothy 1:7</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #444444; line-height: 20px;"><span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: inherit;">Can I be incredibly transparent? Fear is something I have really been struggling with the past few weeks. It seems like everywhere I turn, I am seeing news that instills more fear in me. I am not the kind of person who generally gets caught up in the health scares or political fear tactics, but these past few weeks, I have felt myself crumbling.</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #444444; color: #d0e0e3; font-family: inherit;"><span style="line-height: 20px;">I have felt such a heaviness lately, between the news of ISIS, Ebola, and other heart wrenching stories in the news. </span><span style="line-height: 20px;">I see God being mocked over and over. I see Christians being villainized for holding tightly to their values. I see people twisting God's words so they can continue to lead the kind of life that they want to without feeling guilt. I see Christians refusing to show the love and forgiveness that Christ has shown them. We argue and take stands that don't need to be taken, but when it comes to what God demands from us, we won't stand up at all.</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #444444; line-height: 20px;"><span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: inherit;">I feel broken hearted for this world we live in. This fear I have? It is not simply a fear for what is to come, It is a fear of what will come to so many I know and love.</span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #f4cccc; line-height: 20px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; text-align: justify;"><i><b>"And fear not them which kill the body, but are not able to kill the soul: but rather fear Him which is able to destroy both soul and body in hell."</b></i></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #f4cccc; line-height: 20px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; text-align: justify;"><i><b>Matthew 10:28</b></i></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #444444; color: #d0e0e3; font-family: inherit;"><span style="line-height: 21px; text-align: justify;">"Enter ye in at the strait gate: for wide </span><i style="line-height: 21px; text-align: justify;">is</i><span style="line-height: 21px; text-align: justify;"> the gate, and broad </span><i style="line-height: 21px; text-align: justify;">is</i><span style="line-height: 21px; text-align: justify;"> the way, that leadeth to destruction, and many there be which go in thereat: </span><span style="line-height: 21px; text-align: justify;">Because strait </span><i style="line-height: 21px; text-align: justify;">is</i><span style="line-height: 21px; text-align: justify;"> the gate, and narrow </span><i style="line-height: 21px; text-align: justify;">is</i><span style="line-height: 21px; text-align: justify;"> the way, which leadeth unto life, and few there be that find it. <span style="font-size: xx-small;"><i>(21) </i></span></span></span><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #d0e0e3; line-height: 21px; text-align: justify;">Not every one that saith unto me, Lord, Lord, shall enter into the kingdom of heaven; but he that doeth the will of my Father which is in heaven."</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #444444; line-height: 20px; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: inherit;">Matthew 7:13-14, 21</span></span></div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04906002894981565767noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4231677309803576514.post-56643779068677928232014-09-30T21:43:00.000-07:002014-09-30T22:12:26.401-07:00CameronMy very first childhood memory was from when I was 2 years old. I vaguely remember peeking out from around a corner as a 9 year old boy flashed me a huge smile, laughed excitedly, and eagerly started very shakily coming towards me. I quickly hid on the other side of the wall, terrified he would get to me. I walked up the stairs, clinging to my mom and as we entered his bedroom, I saw a huge metal crib. My little mind was racing and I couldn't quite understand exactly what was happening, but it all seemed frightening and "unordinary".<br />
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That was the day I met my big brother. My parents had become "skilled care providers" through the state of NJ. Cameron, a 9 year old boy with severe cerebral palsy, was our first placement. That day began a whole new life for my family and it has helped shape my perspectives, opinions, reactions, and my goals. <br />
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My initial fears of Cameron, quickly disappeared once he came to live with us. There was not a thing to fear about that incredible boy. He taught me within days that "different" is not a bad thing, and that disabled only means differently abled. We became fast friends and shared an incredible bond. Oh how I miss you big brother.<br />
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I can not even begin to tell you the impact of being raised with siblings with special needs. I adored Cameron with everything that I had. Though he never spoke a word, he listened, he watched, he loved. He didn't need to say a word. Despite any "disabilities" that he had, his soul was beautiful. He was almost ALWAYS happy and smiling and just being in the room with him could make a bad day, better. <br />
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Cameron lived with our family for over 10 years and the day we said goodbye is still one of the hardest to relive. It has been around 15 years since I last saw him. Last saw his huge smile, last was embraced in his bear hug, and last kissed him goodbye. <br />
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I miss him tremendously, and pray that wherever he is, he is still smiling and spreading joy and love.<br />
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Happy Birthday Cammie. Thank you for all of the joy you brought to my life. I love you buddy, and I always will. Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04906002894981565767noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4231677309803576514.post-87935318611676526012014-09-13T09:00:00.000-07:002014-09-17T21:09:18.332-07:00Mission GenerationIt is coming up on our two year anniversary of our move to Panama and it has been quite a journey. It has been emotional to say the least, but God is good and we have had an wonderful ride.<br />
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One extremely difficult part of living in Panama has been the overwhelming feeling of not being able to "do it all" and meet every need. It is so emotionally difficult when you live in one town, but know that you have no impact on children in the next town over, or children 2 hours away. The burden on my heart for so many of the children here is strong. We can tell them about Jesus, but seeing many of them from farther towns on such a limited basis is hard. How can we ensure that their relationship with Christ continues to grow? How can we be most effective in reaching them for Christ? This is something that Nathan and I have mourned over and prayed extensively about. How can we have the greatest impact? How can we best glorify God? The answer came to us unexpectedly several months ago when we met a couple that was currently serving as missionaries in Chile, Rocky and Joske Malloy. In 1999 they started an organization called "<a href="http://www.missiongeneration.org">Mission Generation</a>" in Bolivia and have since launched a program in Paraguay and Chile as well.<br />
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So what does Mission Generation do? <br />
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"Mission Generation has developed an accredited curriculum that teaches biblical principles for life, and the good news of Jesus Christ. We operate inside one of the largest networks on earth, the public and private school system, throughout Latin America. This is a massive, effective and efficient means of reaching entire nations with the Gospel. Why are the nations so willing to use our curriculum? Because the Word of God is powerful.When students learn of God's purpose for their lives, that is only found through Jesus Christ, they transform into highly productive citizens in society. The results have been so profound that secular governments are subsidizing a Jesus program as a required school subject. By keeping the focus on Jesus and the Truth of His Word, we have gained the support of Catholics and Protestants alike."<br />
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The program has been so successful in reducing teen pregnancy, gang participation, and drug and alcohol abuse, that many other Latin American governments have begun showing an interest in the program. After interest from the Panamanian government, Mission Generation has decided to launch a pilot program here in Panama,with the help of Nathan and I. This is<b> SO EXCITING</b> for us and we are so thrilled for this opportunity to be able to impact an entire generation with Biblical truths and values. Children that may otherwise never learn about Jesus will now be able to hear about His word and His principles on a daily basis.<br />
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Can I just tell you what an answer to prayer this is? We are so thrilled to be able to maximize the amount of children that we are able to reach. We see the despair that many of these children live in. Being able to share with them this hope for a future, as well as being able to reach their hearts for Jesus while they are young is so important to us. <br />
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Would you please be in prayer for us as we begin this exciting journey? This will be a very busy season for our family as we work to ensure that the pilot program here in Panama is successful. As we are working in the public school system we pray that God allows us to be effective for His kingdom while speaking and interacting with the children, their parents, and the school faculty.<br />
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If you are interested in learning more about Mission Generation, be sure to check out their website--- WWW.MissionGeneration.Org<br />
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Thank you all for your prayers and support!Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04906002894981565767noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4231677309803576514.post-54752618962509519752014-09-10T21:39:00.000-07:002014-09-12T22:25:22.763-07:00What's new?!?!As it turns out, I am not the best at keeping up with this blog. I get so caught up in our day to day life and while I desire to blog, I go to bed each night once again having neglected to for one reason or another. So to the 3 of you who read this blog, I apologize.<br />
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August was a very exciting month for us as we welcomed our first "short-term" mission group from Maranatha Baptist Church. It was such a blessing to be able to share Panama with them and introduce them to many of the children that we work with. Being able to watch our sweet friends from the States (and some family!) interacting with these children that we so dearly love was truly an amazing experience.<br />
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Thanks to MBC we got to see a LOT of little faces light up as they received some awesome gifts! Soccer balls, nail polish and jewelry, coloring books, cars, dolls, and even practical things like shoes as well as toothbrushes and toothpaste (donated by some very generous dentists in NJ) were amongst some of the goodies that were shared with hundreds of little ones in Chiriqui, Panama. <br />
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The group contained 9 adults and 4 teenagers and watching their lives being transformed and their hearts softened by the experience was one very exciting highlight for Nathan and I. We are truly grateful to those who came and who gave of themselves to the people of Panama. We also truly appreciated the kindness they showed to our family and our sons. Moving away from their friends and family has been hard on some of our boys, and having 13 people come and love on them and make time for each of them, brought me to tears. As a mama, I often worry about my boys and what they may be "missing out" on, so it is a huge blessing to me to have people take time for my children as well. My boys were on cloud 9 all week long and were of course sad to say goodbye. We truly had a wonderful week and were so encouraged by the friendships and fellowship that we shared.<br />
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While it is not practical or possible for every Christian to go "overseas" to serve, we feel passionately that it IS possible as well as commanded of us, to be serving the orphans, widows, and the "least of these" in our own communities. We hope that the trip has encouraged those who came to Panama to continue to serve others for Christ in their own community. <br />
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THANK YOU MARANATHA BAPTIST CHURCH--- for your gifts, your time, your prayers, and your LOVE that you shared with us here in Panama.<br />
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04906002894981565767noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4231677309803576514.post-44908585747375867942014-03-04T18:19:00.003-08:002014-03-04T19:43:29.567-08:00A much needed update on us We arrived back in Panama in mid January and settled into our new home by the end of the month. God has provided beyond what we feel deserving of and we are blessed to be in a lovely home in a quiet neighborhood close to our ministry here in Panama. This has taken a financial load off of our shoulders each month and we trust God will provide for the rest of our monthly needs as well. We ended January celebrating our son Kellan’s third birthday, and we praise God for the gift of him in our lives. <br />
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February was a busy month as the children of Panama ended their "summer" vacation and headed back to school. We just finished a week of Vacation Bible School with our church and we feel so blessed to have been able to be a part of it. Instead of children coming to us for VBS, our church went to them and we held services in four different neighborhoods surrounding the town the church is in. Nathan led the group in the town of Caimito which is a small town bordering Dolega. We had between 30-40 children in our neighborhood alone and we were told that over 130 Children came between the four locations combined. We witnessed many little souls being touched and stirred by the Holy Spirit as well as several professions of faith in our Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ. It was very encouraging to see the children come back each day, despite the humble setting of several blankets laid out under a tree in someones front yard. <br />
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Tyler just recently started attending a bilingual International School near our home in Panama. Our hope is that this will help him to learn Spanish more proficiently and allow him to more easily communicate with the children in Panama. We are excited for him, but this will be quite a transition for our family as we have solely homeschooled up to this point. Please pray for a smooth transition and a wonderful school year for him. <br />
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We are still waiting on the government (MIDES) to finalize our paperwork for our children’s home. We are eager and excited to be able to open our home to children, but we know it will happen in God’s timing and we must wait patiently on Him and trust His perfect plan. Meanwhile, Nathan plans to continue to serve at the feeding center and we will continue to visit the other Children's homes in the area. We cherish and enjoy holding and loving on the babies and running around and playing with the older children. <br />
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Thank you all for your continued support. It was such a blessing to be able to spend time visiting churches and interacting with all of you one on one. We were so touched by the stories that were shared with us, and also by your selfless giving to our ministry. We appreciate and greatly value your prayers for our family as we continue to serve the people of Panama, and share the gospel to those God puts in our path.<br />
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04906002894981565767noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4231677309803576514.post-62553899448078057232013-12-20T19:19:00.000-08:002014-03-04T19:29:17.209-08:00Christmas is approaching and we have found ourselves "stuck" in the States. Our precious Jude was just released from his second hospitalization since we have been in NJ. His poor little lungs just have been struggling immensely since we have been back in the States. Because he was born premature, the doctors have explained that his lungs just are not as strong and have some damage and they are having a hard time staying healthy. The doctor prescribed him a daily maintenance steroid and inhaler so hopefully we are on the right path to improved lung function! Please pray with us.
While we are excited and eager to get home to Panama, we are grateful for the chance to spend the Holidays with our family and to have this extra time enjoying our loved ones. We know we will miss them greatly once we are back in Panama and are thankful for this chance to make memories and spend quality time together.
We hope each of you has a very Merry Christmas, celebrating the birth of our Lord, Jesus Christ.
<blockquote><i>For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Saviour, which is Christ the Lord.
And this shall be a sign unto you; Ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger.
And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God, and saying,
Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men.</i></blockquote>
<b>Luke 2:11-14</b>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04906002894981565767noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4231677309803576514.post-69611436481644854492013-09-26T18:02:00.002-07:002013-09-26T18:16:13.929-07:00I remember<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi4iC_ONQYQPf7CKRgTN_b7lKWnMPmlFYmQvkGjD2_ovo3k91FBLSWkarQ-2haugSU2_Eo4hRRN_Pz39EcOLjEfN0kmEXIdiVm-hx3qEqEp95LqGifxUa82uoCPwZcKyFhnrXUu5MWTncY/s1600/IMG_2123.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi4iC_ONQYQPf7CKRgTN_b7lKWnMPmlFYmQvkGjD2_ovo3k91FBLSWkarQ-2haugSU2_Eo4hRRN_Pz39EcOLjEfN0kmEXIdiVm-hx3qEqEp95LqGifxUa82uoCPwZcKyFhnrXUu5MWTncY/s320/IMG_2123.JPG" /></a></div>
I remember this day well. We watched you turn blue and stop breathing during our visit and were rushed out shortly after by some cranky nurses. I remember sobbing and laying awake that night wondering if I would see your precious face the next morning. I remember crying out to God and pleading with him for another day, pleading for a chance to at least hold you in my arms one time. I remember the pain I felt each time someone asked how you were. That question seemed unbearable to answer, because I really didn't know. I could guess, I could imagine, I could hope, but I didn't really have anything concrete to base it off of.
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I remember anxiously waiting each day to visit you. To touch you, and to talk to you. I remember watching other parents as they too waited for their visit with their child, only to be told that their baby did not make it through the night. I remember watching their tears, and hearing their cries at the realization that they would never hold their precious child. They would never get to see their first smile, or watch them take their first steps. I remember feeling helpless and fighting the urge to run through the doors and escaping with you in my arms. I remember asking God over and over... WHY? What is Your purpose in this? What are You doing through this God? How long will this pain endure? Will the morning ever come?
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I remember the panic I felt the morning we found out you were coming home. I remember the mixed emotions of the JOY I was about to feel holding you for the first time, yet concern for the fact that I knew you were not yet ready. I remember the frustration I felt when I just did not know what to do for you, or how to care for you best.
I remember the LOVE I felt for you, I remember the feeling of having you placed in my arms for the first time,I remember the hours of just holding you in my arms and feeling your little heart beat on my chest.
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To me, you are a miracle. A blessing. A gift. But my hope is that you will be that to MANY others as well. My hope is that through every experience with you, we are able to use this to help other children, other parents, other families.
Our eyes were opened to a need that is great, because in that very isolette that you layed in, another baby is likely lying in right now. We don't know that child's situation, but we know that while you were there many other children were in the same room whose parents just could not care for them. For whatever the reason, they live there in the hospital just waiting. Waiting for someone to hold them, to touch them, to talk to them, and to love them.
So I am not only thankful for you, but I am thankful for your journey. For the experiences that God allowed us through your birth and NICU stay.
I hope one day many other preemies or children with special needs, are able to know the love of a family, and the love of God because of your journey. I am so thankful that God put us exactly where He did in those moments, so that we could better see the needs of the children in Panama.
Through the past 6 months of your life, what I remember most is that through it all, God was gracious. God was patient with me. God was faithful. God held us both in His arms, and walked us through the trials to bring us to an opportunity where we can prayerfully make a difference in the lives of many children for Christ.
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I love you Jude. You are a true blessing from God, in every way.
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04906002894981565767noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4231677309803576514.post-49537518894658733522013-05-12T19:56:00.000-07:002013-05-12T19:56:10.828-07:00BlessedDoesn't even cut how I feel this Mother's Day.<br />
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There was pancakes, there was homemade cards, there was snuggles, there was laughing, there was kisses, there was holding hands, there was holding babies, there was chai tea, there was pop corn, there was playing, there was walking, there was running, there was nerf guns, there was playground fun, there was cake for dinner, there was "I love you's", there was "You are the best mommy ever", and there were 4 precious boys who I could not love any more that made me a mommy.</div>
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These boys make every day incredible. There may be tears, and fighting, and messes, and frustration, and sleepless nights, but those are worth every second. </div>
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These boys are a GIFT. Each moment is a BLESSING. </div>
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They are each so special, so unique, so LOVED. </div>
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Today something hit me even harder than it has before... I have FOUR sons. Four boys who will grow into men. Four men that my husband and I are responsible for raising. Four men that God has entrusted to us for this season. Each moment is a chance to impact their lives. To teach them, to encourage them. Each day is a day that can change their future.</div>
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It's an overwhelming thought to truly realize what a great responsibility being a mom is. I have a great opportunity to make a difference in this world. In fact... I have FOUR.</div>
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HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!!!!</div>
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04906002894981565767noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4231677309803576514.post-3124087338159599402013-04-25T11:36:00.001-07:002013-05-11T23:20:09.752-07:00Pieces of the puzzle<br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit; letter-spacing: 0px;">It’s always hard in the midst of a difficult struggle to understand why things are happening the way they are. It's hard to accept that God is in control and that He does not have to reveal his ultimate plan to us, nor is he required to save us from the difficult times. Someone recently shared this quote and it spoke so loudly to me...</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><b><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 16px;">"Sometimes God redeems us <i>from</i> our struggles</span><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 16px;"> and </span><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 16px;">sometimes</span><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 16px;"> He </span><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 16px;">redeems</span><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 16px;"> </span><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 16px;">us </span></b><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 16px;"><b><i>through</i> them.</b>" - Mike Donehey.</span><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><br />
<br />Looking back over the past few months of our “trials”, I am beginning to see pieces of a beautiful puzzle coming together. Even in the moments I felt completely alone and wondered why God was allowing things to happen, I am beginning to see that He truly was in control the whole time.<br />
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My Mother and Father in law had planned a trip to visit us in early February. Not long before they were supposed to leave, my Mother in law injured her foot and spent 8 weeks in a boot and several more weeks in physical therapy. Do you know when they rescheduled their trip for? The exact week God had orchestrated for Jude to be released from the hospital. Not only were they able to meet their newest grandchild, they were able to hugely bless us by watching our older boys while we spent time in the hospital with Jude. They also happened to be here the exact week we were moving and were a tremendous help with packing the house and moving us. I can’t even imagine the chaos of doing everything without them. <br />
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God is <i>good!</i><br />
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While Nathan and I were originally very upset that a doctor who had not been overseeing Jude’s care decided to discharge him directly out of intermediate care without consulting Jude’s doctor, I now see what a blessing that was. Not only were we able to have almost a week with Jude home to snuggle and meet his brothers and grandparents, this also allowed us to monitor Jude and discover he was having some serious issues from his prematurity that needed to be treated. We were able to drive Jude to the capital of Panama and get him the best care available. We have now been able to breathe much easier and we are able to better understand what is going on with him, and better care for him.<br />
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God is <b>good</b>!<br />
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God has taken such great care of Jude these past 35 wks. I was less than thrilled to be put on bed rest at 25wks but God used that time to help prepare Jude for birth. He was able to get steroids to help grow his lungs and when he arrived at 30 wks, God watched over him every step of the way. I didn’t understand why God would allow me to have a premature baby in a foreign country. I didn't understand why I was having to experience such heartache his first few weeks with barely being able to see my son, but I can tell you now that God has a wonderful plan and He has never left Jude’s side. This experience has brought many different people into my life, it has created new and wonderful friendships, it has opened my eyes to many different situations here in Panama, and most importantly... I believe God is showing us His will for us here in Panama through this. <br />
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God is <b><i>GOOD</i></b>!<br />
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I still may not understand all the pieces of the puzzle and that is ok. God is choosing to redeem me through my struggles right now. I may fight Him on things and beg Him to spare me from the trials, but I am slowly beginning to see that what I have been fighting and struggling against is something beautiful that God is trying to piece together if only I would let Him. I am eager to see the finished puzzle, but I know that God will place piece by piece in His perfect timing, not mine.</span></span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04906002894981565767noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4231677309803576514.post-60677527616824937612013-03-28T16:25:00.002-07:002013-03-28T16:30:07.369-07:00One week.<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">It's been one week since Jude was born. One week.</span></div>
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One week of...</div>
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<b>Joy</b></div>
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Sorrow</div>
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PRAYERS</div>
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Smiles</div>
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<b>Tears</b></div>
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<i>Pain</i></div>
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WAITING</div>
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Laughter</div>
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<i>Excitement</i></div>
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<b>Encouragement</b></div>
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Nerves</div>
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<i>Longing</i></div>
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Happiness</div>
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Exhaustion</div>
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PRAISE</div>
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Thanksgiving</div>
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<b>Anticipation</b></div>
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Disappointment</div>
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<i>Blessings</i></div>
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Frustration</div>
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Gratefulness</div>
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<b>Miracles</b><br />
Trusting</div>
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<u>LIFE.</u></div>
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We love you precious boy. You are <b>one week</b> closer to <i><u>HOME</u></i>.</div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04906002894981565767noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4231677309803576514.post-25733012655658872742013-03-25T20:41:00.000-07:002013-03-25T20:52:11.119-07:00Introducing... Jude Ellis<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;">We are thrilled to welcome our 4'th son...</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">JUDE ELLIS</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">March 21'st * 4:37am</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">3lbs 8oz * 16.5in.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Perfect.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">A little about his birth...</span></div>
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Wednesday I celebrated 30 wks of pregnancy. I was not feeling well at all. I thought I was probably coming down with a stomach flu. My stomach felt a sharp pain like I had been hit or punched and I was vomiting as well. It wasn't that unusual for me to be feeling the nausea but the pain felt different than the contractions I was used to. I spent the day as I spent every day... in bed laying down and resting. My stomach was tight and felt hard, again I assumed it was a tummy bug hitting me so I just kept trying to drink water and rest. It wasn't unusual for me to feel so uncomfortable so I tried not to get too worked up over it. I was in quite a bit of pain and that night I was having my usual contractions that were painful but nothing shocking. I decided to go to bed and see how I felt in the morning. I went to sleep around midnight and tossed and turned until about 2:30am when I knew something was wrong. The contractions were extremely painful and I could no longer sleep. I went to the bathroom and I immediately knew something was wrong. I was bleeding really badly. I woke Nathan up and told him to hurry and wake the boys we needed to get to the hospital. We called my parents to come get the boys, and we called some Missionary friends who speak spanish and would be able to help with the boys until my parents arrived.</div>
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We got there pretty quickly and they had me put on a gown and lay in a bed while they called my doctor. My mind was racing and I started to panic. I still felt him moving and I kept rubbing him and waiting for him to respond. I am not sure how long it took the doctor to arrive the whole night turned to a blur. She got there and checked me and confirmed I was in active labor. She told me she needed to do an ultrasound to confirm his position because she felt a hand. They rushed me for an ultrasound and sure enough, Jude was laying transverse. I was still bleeding very badly and his hand had already presented in my cervix. She quickly went over the options with Nathan. 1.) Have a c-section there at the private hospital and Jude would need to be transported shortly after birth or 2.) Transport me to the public hospital for my c-section and then they would take Jude to the NICU.</div>
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We decided to stay for the C-section at the private hospital because we knew the care would be better. We also knew at the public hospital there would be a really strong language barrier and I was frightened enough. They rushed me up for my C-section and at 4:37am Jude arrived. I waited for his cry and breathed a huge sigh of relief when I heard it. I could see them working on him and pumping his chest and they quickly rushed him out of the room. He was taken by ambulance a few minutes away to the public hospital. I was in a fog.</div>
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Jude started out in very serious condition, but he has quickly shown us that he is very strong and he is a fighter. He is currently stable and doing well. While I wish he could have waited another month or two before joining us, I am so incredibly thankful he is here and he is safe and he is thriving. God is GREAT, and we are once again blessed with another son. </div>
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We chose the name Jude because it means "Praise" and words can not express our praise and thanksgiving for our precious new son. His middle name, Ellis, means "The Lord is my God". We thought that fit perfectly. We have no doubts that God will watch over him and use his life as He sees fit. </div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><sup class="versenum" style="background-color: white; text-align: -webkit-auto; vertical-align: top;">"</sup><sup class="versenum" style="background-color: white; font-weight: bold; text-align: -webkit-auto; vertical-align: top;"> </sup><span style="background-color: white; text-align: -webkit-auto;">For this child I prayed, and the </span><span class="small-caps" style="background-color: white; font-variant: small-caps; text-align: -webkit-auto;">Lord</span><span style="background-color: white; text-align: -webkit-auto;"> has granted me my petition which I asked of Him."</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; text-align: -webkit-auto;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">1 Samuel 1:27</span></span></div>
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04906002894981565767noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4231677309803576514.post-45542883494154173342013-03-06T19:23:00.000-08:002013-03-06T19:23:49.960-08:00Planning.I think it's safe to say I REALLY need to give up with planning. You would think I would have learned this several years ago when God first started really trying to get my attention. <b>Nope</b>. Instead, I decided that while I was willing to give up my plans and move forward with what we felt God wanted us to do, I would make new plans for once we got there. What can I say? I am a huge work in progress.<br />
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We found out we were expecting just a few weeks before we left for Panama. While we were very excited, I figured it would be<i> <strike>a</strike></i><strike> <i>little</i></strike> challenging to move to another country with a baby on board.<br />
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The first 20 weeks I suffered from extreme "morning" sickness called Hyperemesis Gravidarum. Thanks to my weakened immune system I got pneumonia, then strep (for 3wks), then an upper respitory infection. That took quite a toll on "my plans" for getting settled and into a routine. After around 20 weeks I finally started feeling human again. I still suffered from morning sickness, but I was finally able to keep liquids and some food down. NOW we could get our plans back in motion. I already have blogged a little about our youngest son and some of the complications he has been having, and then the robbery happened and well once again my plans had to wait.<br />
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<b><i>"God, can't you see I have some really great plans to fulfill?"</i></b><br />
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Around the 25wk mark in my pregnancy things started feeling off. Strong contractions, lots of cramping and low back pain, extreme dizziness and I started blacking out. I knew something wasn't right. About a week later I lost my mucous plug. Oh boy. We headed to the doctor and I told her what was going on. Sure enough, I had begun dilating and effacing and my cervix was very soft. "This is not good at all", my doctor said. "You must take this very seriously." She sent me for steroid shots to mature our little guys lungs, medicine to stop the contractions and then she put me on medicine every few hours to continue to take to keep the contractions at bay, and full bed rest.<br />
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<b><i>Hmphhh. This was NOT in my plan. </i></b><br />
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I am now 28wks along and baby boy is still right where he needs to be. I am hoping and praying he stays put for at least a few more weeks, but I am not planning on <i>anything</i>. He will come not a moment too soon. God already knows his birthday, and while I wish He would shed some light on that day for me, I know that HIS PLAN will be done. So whether this little one holds out until 42wks or if he comes tomorrow, I am excited to see what God has planned for him, AND... for me.<br />
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For now, I have plenty of time. Not to try and figure everything out, but to sit. To sit and listen. To pray. To be quiet, and to wait on the Lord.<br />
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04906002894981565767noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4231677309803576514.post-34318756116971397592013-02-23T12:47:00.001-08:002013-02-23T12:47:02.686-08:00Some recent blessings---<ul>
<li>Carrying this precious little boy of ours for 27 weeks now!</li>
<li>Celebrating 2 precious years with Kellan.</li>
<li>Getting to see my sister and nieces and nephew.</li>
<li>Getting to see some wonderful friends from NJ.</li>
<li>Being able to bless so many mothers and children with gifts from so many caring people in the USA.</li>
<li>Having my parents here right now and willing to help us the second we call with a need.</li>
<li>Having a wonderful sister from church come stay in our house while we were away and clean up the mess from the robbery.</li>
<li>A friend who is always willing to help me with translating and go above and beyond to make us feel welcome in Panama.</li>
<li>Friends who bless us beyond what we deserve in times of struggles</li>
<li>Turning another year older.</li>
<li>Watching my husband turn another year older.</li>
<li>Friends who are faithful to encourage us and pray for us.</li>
<li>Eating a delicious falafal and some sorbet in Panama City! (let's be honest... food matters when your pregnant)</li>
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I needed to write that out to remind myself just how blessed we truly are!</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04906002894981565767noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4231677309803576514.post-15638769727733130492013-02-21T20:30:00.001-08:002013-02-21T20:37:05.519-08:00Overcoming AngerThis is a hard post for me to write. It is hard to admit my flaws, and even harder to admit them when I am still struggling with them.<br />
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It seems like the past few years, as many other people have, we have had our share of trials. Moving to Panama brought along more challenges and I felt like I was doing ok making my way through them. Our youngest has been struggling with his health, my pregnancy has been a challenge, and while I have felt overwhelmed by it all I was hopeful that "this too shall pass." January came and I was more than excited about my sister and her 3 children visiting from the States. Except things don't ever go as planned. Her 3 wk visit to Panama that I had looked forward to was hampered by loads of sickness and we only got to spend about 1 week together. I was sad and frustrated knowing that I won't likely see them again for nearly 2 years. We said our good byes and a few days later our friends and their 2 children arrived. Our "plan" was to pick them up in Panama City and drive home later that day but complications with Kellan and doctors visits kept us in Panama City for several more days.<br />
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We finally arrived home in David and got back in the swing of things with the Comarca and Orphanage. When the weekend arrived we decided to head to my parents beach with our friends for some fun and relaxation. We had a wonderful (holiday) weekend and headed back to our home in David to get back to business. We pulled into the driveway, Nathan went to unlock the door and that is when things just took a horrible turn.<br />
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The door was unlocked. The fridge was open, food was thrown on the floor, and immediately as he looked over to the TV cabinet it was evident we had been robbed. The house was completely torn apart and I felt sick trying to think of what could have been taken. It didn't take long to discover that our lock box and our legal documents were all missing. My engagement ring (which ironically I had taken off after being warned to do so to avoid being robbed), ALL of my camera equipment including my 2 professional cameras along with several lenses and accessories, and also most of our other electronics. They dumped out a suitcase and Luke's book bag and must have filled them with things and walked right out.<br />
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At first I felt terrified. I panicked. The intruder had gotten in by breaking the bars off the window on the back porch and must have then opened and slid right in the window of the master bedroom. The bedroom that my 3 little boys had slept in the past several months. That night after talking to police, my dad came and stayed at the house while we drove back to my parents to figure out what we wanted to do.<br />
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Slowly, as reality sunk in I started feeling very angry. My innocent boys were confused. Luke nervously checked his toys to make sure his bike and his "cozies" (stuffed animals) were all still safe, and Tyler told me to make sure I brought their special bath soap with us incase the robbers came back for it. I just couldn't wrap my mind around it. From the outside of our house, you see our windows adorned with many of the boys pictures and drawings. How could someone empty out the contents of a 4 yr olds back pack and decide to take it anyway? The more I thought about the situation the more angry I became. We had just gone grocery shopping before we left and of course since they left the fridge open our food was all spoiled. I saved my photography money along with additional money for several years to be able to buy my camera and lenses and it was suddenly gone. I had hundreds of photos that I had not yet been able to upload to my computer that are now GONE. My engagement ring that was so incredibly special to me was just GONE. Our marriage certificate, the boys birth certificates, all of our socials--- GONE. It just felt so unfair.<br />
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I started feeling upset with God. Why did this happen? We moved here to Panama to try and follow His call and WHY, WHY were we facing yet another challenge? I was angry at the landlord for not being honest with us about previous break-ins. I felt anger towards whoever did this. They not only robbed us of material possessions, but they completely shattered my sense of security and my ability to sleep soundly at night. I also started feeling angry at innocent people. We know that whoever snuck in the window was likely a small teenage boy, so whenever I am out and see a slender teen boy I immediately start feeling anger towards them. They have done nothing, but I assume the worst and my mind pegs them as criminals. Lastly, I feel angry at myself. Why didn't I just leave my ring on? Why didn't I bring my camera? Why didn't I think to keep our documents with us? Why can't I just get over it and move on? Why can't I just let it go?<br />
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The other day while driving in the car, one of my favorite songs by Casting Crowns came on and the words hit me like a knife...<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: inherit;"><i><span style="text-align: center;">"Jesus, friend of sinners, the one who's writing in the sand</span><br style="text-align: center;" /><span style="text-align: center;">Make the righteous turn away and the stones fall from their hands</span><br style="text-align: center;" /><span style="text-align: center;">Help us to remember we are all the least of these</span><br style="text-align: center;" /><span style="text-align: center;">Let the memory of Your mercy bring Your people to their knees</span><br style="text-align: center;" /><span style="text-align: center;">No one knows what we're for only against when we judge the wounded</span><br style="text-align: center;" /><span style="text-align: center;">What if we put down our signs crossed over the lines and loved like You did</span><br style="text-align: center;" /><br style="text-align: center;" /><span style="text-align: center;">Oh Jesus, friend of sinners</span><br style="text-align: center;" /><span style="text-align: center;">Open our eyes to world at the end of our pointing fingers</span><span style="text-align: center;">Let our hearts be led by mercy</span><br style="text-align: center;" /><span style="text-align: center;">Help us reach with open hearts and open doors</span><br style="text-align: center;" /><span style="text-align: center;">Oh Jesus, friend of sinners, break our hearts for what breaks yours</span><br style="text-align: center;" /><br style="text-align: center;" /><span style="text-align: center;">You love every lost cause; you reach for the outcast</span><br style="text-align: center;" /><span style="text-align: center;">For the leper and the lame; they're the reason that You came</span><br style="text-align: center;" /><span style="text-align: center;">Lord I was that lost cause and I was the outcast</span><br style="text-align: center;" /><span style="text-align: center;">But you died for sinners just like me, a grateful leper at Your feet"</span></i></span></blockquote>
It is easy to see a child hungry and want to feed them.<br />
It is easy to see a child abandoned and to want to rescue them.<br />
It is easy to see a woman struggling to provide for her family and to have compassion.<br />
But it is HARD to see a belligerent teenager and feel love for them.<br />
It is hard to see someone who has hurt you and feel forgiveness.<br />
It is hard to see a murderer and not want justice and revenge.<br />
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Sure, I can do the easy things. But what about the hard ones? What about the ones that require me to relinquish my pride and realize that I am not greater than they are? Can I love those who have truly hurt me? Can I be happy for those who prosper at my expense? The truth is, No. I can not. Not on my own strength. So I am putting in a greater effort and begging God to help me. Please pray for me that I am able to overcome this anger I am feeling and to be merciful to all, not just those that are easy to love.<br />
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As I was hit with this reality, this song from Matthew West came to mind and I wanted to share this as well...<br />
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<i style="background-color: white; font-family: inherit; text-align: left;">"It's the hardest thing to give away</i><span style="background-color: white;"></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>And the last thing on your mind today<br />It always goes to those that don't deserve<br /><br />It's the opposite of how you feel<br />When the pain they caused is just too real<br />It takes everything you have just to say the word...<br /><br />Forgiveness<br />Forgiveness<br /><br />It flies in the face of all your pride<br />It moves away the mad inside<br />It's always anger's own worst enemy<br />Even when the jury and the judge<br />Say you gotta right to hold a grudge<br />It's the whisper in your ear saying 'Set It Free'<br /><br />Forgiveness, Forgiveness<br />Forgiveness, Forgiveness<br /><br />Show me how to love the unlovable<br />Show me how to reach the unreachable<br />Help me now to do the impossible<br /><br />Forgiveness, Forgiveness" </i></span></span></div>
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I will leave you with this passage that could not speak louder to my heart right now---<br />
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<i style="font-family: inherit; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span class="versetext" id="mt5-43" style="color: #333333; display: inline; line-height: 20px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><span class="versenum" style="margin: 0px 3px 0px 0px; padding: 0px;"><b>Matthew 5:43-48</b></span></span></span></i><span style="font-family: inherit;"></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white;"><i><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span class="versetext" style="color: #333333; display: inline; line-height: 20px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><span class="versenum" style="margin: 0px 3px 0px 0px; padding: 0px;">43</span></span></span> "You have heard that it was said, 'You shall love your neighbor <a href="http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=4231677309803576514" name="a"></a>and hate your enemy.' <span style="color: #333333; line-height: 20px;"></span><span class="versetext" id="mt5-44" style="color: #333333; display: inline; line-height: 20px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><span class="versenum" style="margin: 0px 3px 0px 0px; padding: 0px;">44</span> But I say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you, <a href="http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=4231677309803576514" name="b"></a></span><span style="color: #333333; line-height: 20px;"></span><span class="versetext" id="mt5-45" style="color: #333333; display: inline; line-height: 20px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><span class="versenum" style="margin: 0px 3px 0px 0px; padding: 0px;">45</span> that you may be sons of your Father in heaven; for He makes His sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust. </span><span style="color: #333333; line-height: 20px;"></span><span class="versetext" id="mt5-46" style="color: #333333; display: inline; line-height: 20px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><span class="versenum" style="margin: 0px 3px 0px 0px; padding: 0px;">46</span> For if you love those who love you, what reward have you? Do not even the tax collectors do the same? </span><span style="color: #333333; line-height: 20px;"></span><span class="versetext" id="mt5-47" style="color: #333333; display: inline; line-height: 20px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><span class="versenum" style="margin: 0px 3px 0px 0px; padding: 0px;">47</span> And if you greet your brethren <a href="http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=4231677309803576514" name="c"></a>only, what do you do more than others? Do not even the tax collectors <a href="http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=4231677309803576514" name="d"></a>do so? </span><span style="color: #333333; line-height: 20px;"></span><span class="versetext" id="mt5-48" style="color: #333333; display: inline; line-height: 20px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><span class="versenum" style="margin: 0px 3px 0px 0px; padding: 0px;">48</span> Therefore you shall be perfect, just as your Father in heaven is perfect.</span></i></span></blockquote>
<span class="versetext" style="background-color: white; color: #333333; display: inline; line-height: 20px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">- Beckah</span></span><br />
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04906002894981565767noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4231677309803576514.post-9802412448166654382012-12-18T15:39:00.002-08:002012-12-18T15:39:49.010-08:00Brief updateToo long has passed since I last updated, but we have been steadily busy.<br />
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We all went through another round of sickness which seemed to last forever. Tummy bugs, fevers, coughs, and I was graced with my 3'rd round of strep this year (which I am still fighting with a second round of antibiotics). To say the least, it has been an adventure. We also had our computer charger randomly stop working so updating the blog was not an option as I had no computer access.<br />
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We are learning that being in a new country brings not only a lot of new excitement and adventures, but also a lot of new diseases and illnesses that our bodies are not used to. We will adjust eventually, but for now we just may battle sickness a little more than we are used to. On top of that, we are ministering and working in an orphanage (where lots of sickness is shared) and also in the Comarca where disease is rampant. For now, the kids and I have been staying home from the Comarca until we can adjust a little better and get our immune systems back on track, so Nathan has been doing that alone. I truly miss it and am excited to be able to get back up there. Meanwhile, I am being patient and doing as the doctor ordered.<br />
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Despite the illnesses, we are really feeling at home here in Panama. We have so much to be thankful for and our humbled by the blessings that have been coming in for some needs that we desperately wanted to meet in the Comarca. I will be making another blog update in regards to this shortly so be on the lookout!<br />
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I hope everyone is having a wonderful Christmas season.<br />
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-Rebekah<br />
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04906002894981565767noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4231677309803576514.post-18301628116477300252012-11-28T08:26:00.001-08:002012-11-28T08:26:19.007-08:00Our first holiday in PanamaThanksgiving week was difficult. We were still recovering from illness and I was packed full of emotion. As thankful as I am for the internet, sometimes seeing what everyone else is doing back in the USA is extremely difficult. Several times I considered jumping on a plane and heading back home. I saw post after post on Facebook about people spending time with family, shopping with friends, and enjoying some of my favorite foods and deserts. Things I loved, things I enjoyed, things I always took for granted, and now---things I miss.<br />
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I wanted to make a few dishes the boys like to try and have some familiarity, but nothing seemed to be working in my favor. The store didn't have the ingredients I needed, our internet was still not hooked up so I could not even search for recipes, and then I discovered our stove was not working anyway. We went to center city to try and get some plastic chairs since we still were sitting on the floor, and I felt completely overwhelmed and frustrated with people shouting at me in a language I didn't understand. I felt out of touch with everyone Feeling unable to relate with anyone back "home", and struggling to understand people here, I just felt completely overwhelmed. To top it off, we got a message on thanksgiving from our closest friends saying Shawna was in labor and heading to the hospital. I was ecstatic for them, but heartbroken to be so far. I shed a lot of tears that week.<br />
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God knows what He is doing though, and after getting on antibiotics and seeing some improvement, we accepted an invitation from the Pastor to get together for thanksgiving with several other missionary families. It was exactly what I needed. Being able to speak to others people in English was a blessing in itself, but the fellowship was so nice to have. It was a wonderful time getting to know a little about these families and enjoy their company. That weekend we got both internet and furniture, and Nathan got the ants pretty much under control. At last our house finally started feeling more like home. Our health has steadily been returning and we are back in the swing of things... just a few more details to iron out. Sometimes the trials truly are needed to make you more appreciative of what you have and to keep you reliant on God. Our week ended with a wonderful message on Sunday that was exactly what I needed to hear---<br />
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Psalm 62:6-8<br />
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span class="text Ps-62-5" id="en-NKJV-14833" style="position: relative;">My soul, wait silently for God alone,</span><br /><span class="text Ps-62-5" style="position: relative;">For my expectation <i>is</i> from Him.</span><br /><span class="text Ps-62-6" id="en-NKJV-14834" style="position: relative;"><sup class="versenum" style="display: block; font-weight: bold; left: -4.8em; position: absolute; vertical-align: top;">6 </sup>He only <i>is</i> my rock and my salvation;</span><br /><span class="text Ps-62-6" style="position: relative;"><i>He is</i> my defense;</span><br /><span class="text Ps-62-6" style="position: relative;">I shall not be moved.</span><br /><span class="text Ps-62-7" id="en-NKJV-14835" style="position: relative;"><sup class="versenum" style="display: block; font-weight: bold; left: -4.8em; position: absolute; vertical-align: top;">7 </sup>In God <i>is</i> my salvation and my glory;</span><br /><span class="text Ps-62-7" style="position: relative;">The rock of my strength,</span><br /><span class="text Ps-62-7" style="position: relative;"><i>And</i> my refuge, <i>is</i> in God.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span class="text Ps-62-8" id="en-NKJV-14836" style="position: relative;"><sup class="versenum" style="display: block; font-weight: bold; left: -4.8em; position: absolute; vertical-align: top;">8 </sup>Trust in Him at all times, you people;</span><br /><span class="text Ps-62-8" style="position: relative;">Pour out your heart before Him;</span><br /><span class="text Ps-62-8" style="position: relative;">God <i>is</i> a refuge for us. <span class="selah" style="font-style: italic; margin-left: 2em;">Selah</span></span></span></div>
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04906002894981565767noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4231677309803576514.post-47355111319507764052012-11-20T08:26:00.000-08:002012-11-24T08:26:59.232-08:00Adjusting<br />
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;">There are so many little details still to figure out. Before we left we sold most of our belongings aside from summer clothing, photos, and some essentials we knew we would still need here. Those items are being shipped in a container that should arrive near the end of December. Until those items arrive, we are trying to find some creative ways to make do. Our washer and dryer, kitchen table, pots and pans, dishes, silverware, and towels are among those items. It’s been slightly challenging to figure out daily living without those things. We also are shipping our dressers so we are trying to keep everything in our suitcases meanwhile. <br />
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We have been keeping very busy the past few days cleaning and trying to get some of the items we absolutely need. Hopefully today we are able to get a couch and some chairs as we have been sitting on the (ant-infested) floor to eat. Curtains are also a must, as we don’t want to be the exhibitionists in the neighborhood, plus the sun really beats through the windows in 90 degree weather. Hopefully curtains will help keep some heat out. The living room has one whole wall of windows so that room is extremely hot. Also on our list today is cell phones and possibly to try and set up internet although we are still waiting on our lease for that.<br />
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So far we are enjoying the adjustment. We are living in a nice neighborhood here in Panama. We have more than most of the people here, yet in comparison to the USA it seems so simple. What we so often took for granted is a luxury here. Our home is very basic by “American” standards. Probably around 1,100 sq. ft. and 3 bedroom. There is no hot water, no air, and no dryer hookup. The stove is very small (one rack) and there are no kitchen cabinets or drawers. We doubt we will have many people begging to come visit, but we really love it (although we admittedly miss hot water). It’s perfect for us, and we feel incredibly blessed to be able to be here. When I feel frustrated over the bugs or the heat, I try desperately to remind myself that we are in the minority here in Panama. Many don’t have indoor showers or toilets, many don’t have concrete yet alone tile floors. Many don’t have stoves, and very few sleep on a bed with the breeze of a fan at night. We may have cracks or holes in the walls that let bugs in, but we are so lucky to have walls. We have spent only a few days without furniture, not our whole lives. Yes, we are beyond blessed!<br />
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Please continue to pray for our health. I am still fighting Pneumonia, and Kellan has been sick with an awful virus now for over a week. He had a fever for 5 days, has randomly been vomiting, his one ear is still bothering him, and he has been fighting a cough and mucous as well. He is absolutely miserable and we would love to see him back to normal soon.</span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04906002894981565767noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4231677309803576514.post-84657840757685259702012-11-18T13:30:00.000-08:002012-11-24T08:24:48.403-08:00Our New Home<br />
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;">Friday we drove to David thinking we were meeting with the Realtor to get the keys, the electric switched to our name, and the lease as previously discussed. We were supposed to meet at the house at 1:30 so we arrived right around then. Around 2:30 Nathan tried to call the realtor to see what was happening but considering she speaks Spanish and he speaks English, they didn’t get far. Thankfully we have some very helpful friends and when I called Cesia, she immediately called the Realtor and called me back. The realtor told her that she wasn’t coming but that the owner was meeting us with the keys. She showed up around 3pm and we were so incredibly thankful to see that without asking, she had decided to put bars on all the windows so we would feel safe. The house was pretty nasty and still had trash and such laying around so the landlord gave us the front door key, and said she was going to have someone clean the house and meet us back at 6pm for the 2 back door keys that she had just had changed. The new plan was to meet with the realtor for our copy of the lease on Monday. <br />
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It was Tyler’s birthday so we took him to the toy store to pick out a gift (he chose a lego set) and to eat. We drove back to the house at 6pm and again, nobody showed up. We waited an hour, and decided we needed to head home. Since we at least had the front door key, we figured we would still move in the next day. <br />
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Saturday morning at 7am a man met us with a big box truck to pick up our beds and suitcases and drive them to our new home in David. The house looked a bit better than the previous day, but it was still pretty dirty. Nathan mopped and steamed and cleaned each room but it was no small feat. The walls were filthy, and each room needed to be bleached and detailed. Unfortunately, move in came on a week I had been hit with a bad case of Pneumonia. Nathan insisted I rest while he cleaned (I am one lucky lady). It’s incredibly frustrating to feel so useless when you really need to get things accomplished.<br />
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We still have much to accomplish and we discovered a few small details that we need to figure out. The back door doesn’t have glass or a screen covering the window section of the door, so we need to figure out a way to keep the critters out. Also, it appears there is a serious sugar ant problem (at least that is what we were told they are). There are some holes in the kitchen and around the sink and the little ants are just pouring out of them. They are also coming from some other places we have yet to figure out. Sugar ants (or whatever they may be) are VERY tiny and are pretty hard to see. Some of them are almost like a clear color. Until we get this taken care of, I can’t have ANY open packages in the kitchen, which has already proven a little challenging. <br />
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We are so very excited to be in our new home in David, and can’t wait to see what God has in store for us next. Thanks for reading!</span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04906002894981565767noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4231677309803576514.post-73660398253122817462012-11-15T20:29:00.000-08:002012-11-15T20:29:42.347-08:00This little piggy went to the Hospital...<div>
...and by this little piggy, I mean Kellan, although I went as well. </div>
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After 4 days of a fever, cough, and nasty runny nose, we decided it was time to take Kellan to the hospital in David. Monday morning he woke up vomiting and also had diarrhea and he felt warm. It seemed his vomiting was from choking on his mucous, so I wasn't exactly sure what was going on. Here we are, 3 days later and his fever is not breaking and his cough is only getting worse. This morning he also gagged on his mucous again and threw up so we decided to head to the hospital.<div>
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The two older boys also have coughs and congestion but no fevers and I have also been struggling with a sore throat, ear ache, congestion, cough and fever this week which has made us some pitiful campers over here in Panama. Let's hope daddy stays healthy.</div>
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I was starting to worry Kellan may be getting pneumonia, so instead of searching to find a doctor, we went straight to the Emergency Room. I struggled to explain in a mix of english and spanish what was wrong to the woman at the front desk. She seemed slightly confused but I think she figured me out eventually.</div>
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The wait was pretty short, and they took him back for weight and temp. I didn't catch either but I am certain he had a fever. We saw a doctor who was very friendly and did speak English alright. I liked him, but I left a bit confused with what was going on. He said his lungs sounded a little junky, but not like Pneumonia, and his one ear was red. He let me look in his ears to show me the difference and said it wasn't a full blown infection yet. He sent him to the lab for blood work and several of his levels were off indicating he has a viral infection. He gave him some anti-virals, we waited on my IV to finish and we headed out.</div>
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His total emergency room bill was $10.36 and his lab bill was $5. Grand Total of $15.36. </div>
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We also got 6 prescriptions (Most were for me) and the prescription total was $35 and some change. </div>
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Tomorrow is supposed to be moving day. We are going to go out to the house and switch electric and gas into our name and get our lease but we most likely won't be moving in until Sunday or Monday. We have to see when we can get the beds sent over so we have somewhere to sleep. We are also going to most likely have to do some cleaning and get a few items we will need until our container arrives from the USA. We are praying next week we are once again healthy and ready to serve again in the orphanage and community. Nathan and the older boys have had to leave me and Kellan home this week, and it's been such a bummer to miss out. We would love your continued prayers for our health. </div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04906002894981565767noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4231677309803576514.post-7121894303454901492012-11-12T08:31:00.000-08:002012-11-12T08:31:29.622-08:00Just some ramblings...<br />
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<li><strike>Move to Panama</strike></li>
<li><strike>Find a house</strike></li>
<li>Get a vehicle</li>
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We are slowly moving along on our little checklist! We have been in Panama for just over a month now and we are very excited to be moving this friday into a rental home. It is in a little Panamanian neighborhood just outside the city of David. There is no air (eeks!) except one of the smaller bedrooms does have an air conditioner in it. I forgot to ask about hot water (it isn't common here), but it really would not have made a difference anyway. It should be fun and quite an adventure to really live amongst the people. I hope one of the neighbors can teach me an efficient way to hand wash our clothes, lol. We are currently staying about 1 hour and 30 minutes from David which has been quite a hike, so we are very excited to get closer to the city, the stores, PEOPLE, and most importantly, the orphanage.<br />
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The boys have been battling a bit of sickness now for about a week (coughs and congestion) and this morning Kellan woke up with a low-grade fever and vomiting. I am praying it quickly passes so we are able to go to the Comarca tomorrow. We had to skip out on the orphanage today which always is a disappointment, so prayerfully no one else gets it and we are able to resume our normal daily routines.<br />
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We would really appreciate prayers that an affordable vehicle turns up soon for us. I am pretty certain Nathan is going to have to make the 6 hr. bus trip to Panama City to find something for us since David just doesn't seem to have much to offer as far as vehicles go, and we have heard that you can find much better deals in Panama City. Prayers for our health would also be wonderful. We have all had to adjust a little to the food and have been dealing with upset stomachs for a few weeks. Hopefully it won't be an issue for long.<br />
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We are missing our friends and family, but we are enjoying this beautiful opportunity to follow where we believe God wants us for this season. Thank you to those who are continuing to follow us on this journey. Have a blessed day.<br />
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04906002894981565767noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4231677309803576514.post-6607877931418693432012-10-18T22:34:00.000-07:002012-11-06T07:02:18.548-08:00"The Comarca"<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><br /></span>
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<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace; letter-spacing: 0px;">Thursday is "Comarca Day"...I had been looking forward to it but Kellan woke up with a tummy bug so him and Nathan had to stay home. I was bummed Nathan couldn't join us, but we packed up and headed to the mountains anyway. The trip is over an hour and the roads are not the best. Some are not paved and in rainy season the dirt and rocks can be very bumpy to drive on. I have always gotten carsick and was feeling a little under the weather anyway so as we headed up I was feeling pretty sick. Frustrated with how I was feeling I started wishing I had sat out today and stayed home with Kellan. But then, we pulled into "The Comarca"...</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace; letter-spacing: 0px;">The rain was pouring, huge orange dirt puddles were everywhere, and yet despite the rain and just a small tin roof covering the church (with no walls), there sat pew after pew of soaking wet people. More people yet were still arriving, many of whom I know walked for over an hour to get there. Drenched and shivering they made their way up the steep hill to find a seat. A little girl with no shoes, but a huge smile and an umbrella ran up my car door and grabbed my hand. Hand in hand we made the slippery walk up the hill to the church. She kept looking up at me and smiling the whole way. I took a seat next to her and looked down at her incredibly muddy feet and legs. She kept smiling. Some other little children rushed up to me with a spanish hymn book and several squished in next to me in the pew, while others just watched from a distance and stared. I looked around and took in the whole scene. Children shivering from the cold, mothers trying to warm their babies the best they could. The music started and I sang along. The service began and ended and the food was ready to be served. I watched every child eagerly receive their plate of food. I heard no complaints. Nobody asked for something else, nobody sulked, they all just ate. Every last bite. I watched my sweet little boys hand out little candies to the kids after dinner and I felt overwhelmed with joy. I knew that we were right where we were supposed to be.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace; letter-spacing: 0.0px;">We drove home, had our own dinner and washed up for bed. I lay in my own comfortable bed thankful to be warm and dry. I look outside and watch the lighting and the rain falling down. Suddenly, my mind is swirling back to the site at the Comarca and I no longer feel content in bed. I feel guilty. I think of all the people that I just saw and I picture their homes. I know they are still cold. They are still wet. I listen as the rain pours down and my eyes begin to tear up. Most of their floors are dirt, their walls and roofs are poorly constructed and I am sure many have water drizzling in their homes. As I am laying here in my cozy bed knowing my children are all safe and warm, I just cry. I know full well I can not change life for all these people. I know that many will die of starvation or disease. I know that while I have been writing this, people all over the world have died from starvation or preventable disease. Millions more are suffering. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace; letter-spacing: 0.0px;">I'm thankful that I have been given the opportunity to perhaps make the difference in one persons life. I tell myself again and again that I can not become frustrated or overwhelmed by what I can not do, I simply must do what I can. My heart breaks for these people and I lay here feeling so small. But as small as I am, My God is BIG. I know this first hand. I have seen many great things He has done in my life and the life of other's. I will focus on how great He is. I will believe that His people will step up and heed His call. I will rest tonight knowing that God is greater than any struggle I will come across or any heartache I will feel. God has created these people and He will not leave them. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace; letter-spacing: 0px;">1 Samuel 2:8 “He raises the poor from the dust and lifts the needy from the ash heap; He seats them with princes and has them inherit a throne of honor.”</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace; letter-spacing: 0px;">Goodnight friends!</span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04906002894981565767noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4231677309803576514.post-58483537245443677512012-10-11T17:47:00.000-07:002012-11-05T18:39:28.899-08:00Home at last!<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">The past few days have been incredibly crazy. For weeks we have been packing and trying our hardest to get everything squared away to leave. So much goes into an international move, especially when you have things at several different houses while your packing. We had boxes and MORE boxes. Trash, yardsale, donate in USA, bring to Panama to donate, pack in container, pack in suitcases, store at sister's, store at in laws, carry on, etcetera. Aside from the tedious packing, we had important doctor appointments and visits with friends and family we had to fit in.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">The night before leaving, my parents house (where we were staying) had an incident with the fireplace that left ash all over the house and the house smelling horribly of smoke. I knew the boys couldn't stay the night there so we packed them up and brought them to spend the night at my sisters. Nathan and I still had some last minute packing to do so we headed back to brave the smoke and get everything together. Our AMAZING friends Matthew and Shawna came over to help (as they did many days leading up to our departure). We did not finish until 4:30am and as exhausted as we were, it was such a blessing to have that time to spend with them. Once we said our tear filled goodbyes, we headed back to my sister's house to get some rest.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">The next day was a whirlwind. I know at some point I had to do one of the hardest things I have ever done and say goodbye to my sister and her family. By this point I had said my share of goodbyes, but they never got easier. Through misty eyes, we waved our final goodbyes and drove off for the airport.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">I could barely keep my eyes open on the way and before I knew it we were pulling into the terminal at Newark. My father in law and brother in law helped us wheel our huge load of luggage into the airport. We checked in and through more tears we once again said goodbye to more family and headed through security.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Our flight went smooth and after about 6 hours of flying we landed in Panama City. We were greeted by my mom and Pastor Edwin who loaded us up and we headed to the hotel for some much needed rest. It was around midnight when we were settled in for the night so we quickly accepted any sleep we could get before the sun rose. Our plan was to get on the road by 10am so we had a relaxing morning and grabbed breakfast before heading out. The drive from Panama City to Boca Chica where we were staying is about 6hrs. We made a few stops for potty breaks and food and arrived around 8pm.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">It has been an exhausting couple of weeks and we are excited to be here safely and to have the opportunity to take a few days to rest up. Thank you so much for all of your thoughts, prayers, and well wishes along the way. We truly appreciate everyone who has taken the time to write us a quick note or say some prayers for our travels.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">WE ARE HOME!</span><br />
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04906002894981565767noreply@blogger.com0