Monday, October 13, 2014


"For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind."
2 Timothy 1:7

Can I be incredibly transparent? Fear is something I have really been struggling with the past few weeks. It seems like everywhere I turn, I am seeing news that instills more fear in me. I am not the kind of person who generally gets caught up in the health scares or political fear tactics, but these past few weeks, I have felt myself crumbling.

I have felt such a heaviness lately, between the news of ISIS, Ebola, and other heart wrenching stories in the news. I see God being mocked over and over. I see Christians being villainized for holding tightly to their values. I see people twisting God's words so they can continue to lead the kind of life that they want to without feeling guilt. I see Christians refusing to show the love and forgiveness that Christ has shown them. We argue and take stands that don't need to be taken, but when it comes to what God demands from us, we won't stand up at all.

I feel broken hearted for this world we live in. This fear I have? It is not simply a fear for what is to come, It is a fear of what will come to so many I know and love.

"And fear not them which kill the body, but are not able to kill the soul: but rather fear Him which is able to destroy both soul and body in hell."
Matthew 10:28

"Enter ye in at the strait gate: for wide is the gate, and broad is the way, that leadeth to destruction, and many there be which go in thereat: Because strait is the gate, and narrow is the way, which leadeth unto life, and few there be that find it. (21) Not every one that saith unto me, Lord, Lord, shall enter into the kingdom of heaven; but he that doeth the will of my Father which is in heaven."
Matthew 7:13-14, 21

Tuesday, September 30, 2014


My very first childhood memory was from when I was 2 years old. I vaguely remember peeking out from around a corner as a 9 year old boy flashed me a huge smile, laughed excitedly, and eagerly started very shakily coming towards me. I quickly hid on the other side of the wall, terrified he would get to me. I walked up the stairs, clinging to my mom and as we entered his bedroom, I saw a huge metal crib. My little mind was racing and I couldn't quite understand exactly what was happening, but it all seemed frightening and "unordinary".

That was the day I met my big brother. My parents had become "skilled care providers" through the state of NJ. Cameron, a 9 year old boy with severe cerebral palsy, was our first placement. That day began a whole new life for my family and it has helped shape my perspectives, opinions, reactions, and my goals.

My initial fears of Cameron, quickly disappeared once he came to live with us. There was not a thing to fear about that incredible boy. He taught me within days that "different" is not a bad thing, and that disabled only means differently abled. We became fast friends and shared an incredible bond. Oh how I miss you big brother.

I can not even begin to tell you the impact of being raised with siblings with special needs. I adored Cameron with everything that I had. Though he never spoke a word, he listened, he watched, he loved. He didn't need to say a word. Despite any "disabilities" that he had, his soul was beautiful. He was almost ALWAYS happy and smiling and just being in the room with him could make a bad day, better.

Cameron lived with our family for over 10 years and the day we said goodbye is still one of the hardest to relive. It has been around 15 years since I last saw him. Last saw his huge smile, last was embraced in his bear hug, and last kissed him goodbye.

I miss him tremendously, and pray that wherever he is, he is still smiling and spreading joy and love.

Happy Birthday Cammie. Thank you for all of the joy you brought to my life. I love you buddy, and I always will.

Saturday, September 13, 2014

Mission Generation

It is coming up on our two year anniversary of our move to Panama and it has been quite a journey. It has been emotional to say the least, but God is good and we have had an wonderful ride.

One extremely difficult part of living in Panama has been the overwhelming feeling of not being able to "do it all" and meet every need. It is so emotionally difficult when you live in one town, but know that you have no impact on children in the next town over, or children 2 hours away. The burden on my heart for so many of the children here is strong. We can tell them about Jesus, but seeing many of them from farther towns on such a limited basis is hard. How can we ensure that their relationship with Christ continues to grow? How can we be most effective in reaching them for Christ? This is something that Nathan and I have mourned over and prayed extensively about. How can we have the greatest impact? How can we best glorify God? The answer came to us unexpectedly several months ago when we met a couple that was currently serving as missionaries in Chile, Rocky and Joske Malloy. In 1999 they started an organization called "Mission Generation" in Bolivia and have since launched a program in Paraguay and Chile as well.

So what does Mission Generation do?

"Mission Generation has developed an accredited curriculum that teaches biblical principles for life, and the good news of Jesus Christ. We operate inside one of the largest networks on earth, the public and private school system, throughout Latin America. This is a massive, effective and efficient means of reaching entire nations with the Gospel. Why are the nations so willing to use our curriculum? Because the Word of God is powerful.When students learn of God's purpose for their lives, that is only found through Jesus Christ, they transform into highly productive citizens in society. The results have been so profound that secular governments are subsidizing a Jesus program as a required school subject. By keeping the focus on Jesus and the Truth of His Word, we have gained the support of Catholics and Protestants alike."

The program has been so successful in reducing teen pregnancy, gang participation, and drug and alcohol abuse, that many other Latin American governments have begun showing an interest in the program. After interest from the Panamanian government, Mission Generation has decided to launch a pilot program here in Panama,with the help of Nathan and I. This is SO EXCITING for us and we are so thrilled for this opportunity to be able to impact an entire generation with Biblical truths and values. Children that may otherwise never learn about Jesus will now be able to hear about His word and His principles on a daily basis.

Can I just tell you what an answer to prayer this is? We are so thrilled to be able to maximize the amount of children that we are able to reach. We see the despair that many of these children live in. Being able to share with them this hope for a future, as well as being able to reach their hearts for Jesus while they are young is so important to us.

Would you please be in prayer for us as we begin this exciting journey? This will be a very busy season for our family as we work to ensure that the pilot program here in Panama is successful. As we are working in the public school system we pray that God allows us to be effective for His kingdom while speaking and interacting with the children, their parents, and the school faculty.

If you are interested in learning more about Mission Generation, be sure to check out their website--- WWW.MissionGeneration.Org

Thank you all for your prayers and support!

Wednesday, September 10, 2014

What's new?!?!

As it turns out, I am not the best at keeping up with this blog. I get so caught up in our day to day life and while I desire to blog, I go to bed each night once again having neglected to for one reason or another. So to the 3 of you who read this blog, I apologize.

August was a very exciting month for us as we welcomed our first "short-term" mission group from Maranatha Baptist Church. It was such a blessing to be able to share Panama with them and introduce them to many of the children that we work with. Being able to watch our sweet friends from the States (and some family!) interacting with these children that we so dearly love was truly an amazing experience.

Thanks to MBC we got to see a LOT of little faces light up as they received some awesome gifts! Soccer balls, nail polish and jewelry, coloring books, cars, dolls, and even practical things like shoes as well as toothbrushes and toothpaste (donated by some very generous dentists in NJ) were amongst some of the goodies that were shared with hundreds of little ones in Chiriqui, Panama.

The group contained 9 adults and 4 teenagers and watching their lives being transformed and their hearts softened by the experience was one very exciting highlight for Nathan and I. We are truly grateful to those who came and who gave of themselves to the people of Panama. We also truly appreciated the kindness they showed to our family and our sons. Moving away from their friends and family has been hard on some of our boys, and having 13 people come and love on them and make time for each of them, brought me to tears. As a mama, I often worry about my boys and what they may be "missing out" on, so it is a huge blessing to me to have people take time for my children as well. My boys were on cloud 9 all week long and were of course sad to say goodbye. We truly had a wonderful week and were so encouraged by the friendships and fellowship that we shared.

While it is not practical or possible for every Christian to go "overseas" to serve, we feel passionately that it IS possible as well as commanded of us, to be serving the orphans, widows, and the "least of these" in our own communities. We hope that the trip has encouraged those who came to Panama to continue to serve others for Christ in their own community.

THANK YOU MARANATHA BAPTIST CHURCH--- for your gifts, your time, your prayers, and your LOVE that you shared with us here in Panama.

Tuesday, March 4, 2014

A much needed update on us

We arrived back in Panama in mid January and settled into our new home by the end of the month. God has provided beyond what we feel deserving of and we are blessed to be in a lovely home in a quiet neighborhood close to our ministry here in Panama. This has taken a financial load off of our shoulders each month and we trust God will provide for the rest of our monthly needs as well. We ended January celebrating our son Kellan’s third birthday, and we praise God for the gift of him in our lives.

February was a busy month as the children of Panama ended their "summer" vacation and headed back to school. We just finished a week of Vacation Bible School with our church and we feel so blessed to have been able to be a part of it. Instead of children coming to us for VBS, our church went to them and we held services in four different neighborhoods surrounding the town the church is in. Nathan led the group in the town of Caimito which is a small town bordering Dolega. We had between 30-40 children in our neighborhood alone and we were told that over 130 Children came between the four locations combined. We witnessed many little souls being touched and stirred by the Holy Spirit as well as several professions of faith in our Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ. It was very encouraging to see the children come back each day, despite the humble setting of several blankets laid out under a tree in someones front yard.

Tyler just recently started attending a bilingual International School near our home in Panama. Our hope is that this will help him to learn Spanish more proficiently and allow him to more easily communicate with the children in Panama. We are excited for him, but this will be quite a transition for our family as we have solely homeschooled up to this point. Please pray for a smooth transition and a wonderful school year for him.

We are still waiting on the government (MIDES) to finalize our paperwork for our children’s home. We are eager and excited to be able to open our home to children, but we know it will happen in God’s timing and we must wait patiently on Him and trust His perfect plan. Meanwhile, Nathan plans to continue to serve at the feeding center and we will continue to visit the other Children's homes in the area. We cherish and enjoy holding and loving on the babies and running around and playing with the older children.

Thank you all for your continued support. It was such a blessing to be able to spend time visiting churches and interacting with all of you one on one. We were so touched by the stories that were shared with us, and also by your selfless giving to our ministry. We appreciate and greatly value your prayers for our family as we continue to serve the people of Panama, and share the gospel to those God puts in our path.